Kindness Matters: Mental Health Awareness Week (UK) May 18th – 24th

 

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK. The theme has been changed to kindness in response to the coronavirus pandemic.

Children learn what they see. What we expect from them must be what we model for them. Being kind to people we like is easy; what about those we don’t like – the people who annoy us/those we’d rather avoid?

Empathy and Compassion

Modelling kindness begins with practising empathy and compassion. In putting ourselves in the shoes of others and attempting to understand what they are going through, we begin to identify with them and can focus on ways to help. 

We can teach children to build on their natural empathy by supporting them to understand their feelings and by supporting them to figure out how to help others.  For example, if they see another child in tears, they may start to cry.

• Discussing why they have reacted so is helpful, e.g., “I see you’re sad because Millie is upset she lost her toy.”

• Support your child to think of ways to help, e.g., “I wonder if there is a way we can help Millie to feel better.”

Talking through all sorts of scenarios with children is a great way to build their empathy and understanding and to encourage them to look out for others.

It is important they show the same care and compassion for themselves also. Some can be very hard on themselves. Help your child to set realistic goals. Support them through disappointments and encourage them to try again. The wonderful Charlie Mackesy captures this so beautifully. 

Adopting a positive mindset and looking for the good in situations is an important trait to model for our children. I am reminded of Dorothy Law Nolte’s famous words, 

 

 

It is not easy to promote that which we cannot see in the world. It is not easy to look out for others if we feel downtrodden and have a negative outlook on life.

Are we using positive language with our children? Are we pointing out the moments of awe, wonder, kindness, care and generosity we see? Are we celebrating the good in the world?

It is hard to acknowledge and admit we have hurt others. It is difficult to be kind to those who have hurt us. Yet we know bearing grudges prevents us finding the positive and ignoring wrongdoing doesn’t stop it niggling at us. 

It is important to model saying sorry. We don’t always get things right; we may snap and lose our temper. Apologising for those actions that fall short of our ideals is a vital life lesson for children.

Encouraging children to put things right when they have done something wrong, modelling acceptance of their apology and then moving on is important. We must not repeatedly bring up past mistakes and errors. 

A trickier challenge for us lies in the question of how to ensure that in encouraging our children to forgive we don’t make them vulnerable or turn them into victims. The answer lies in equipping our children with the skills to advocate for themselves and assert their rights. Can you child assuredly say to someone, “I don’t like what you are doing. Please stop.” Have you built an open relationship whereby they can come to you for help in any and all situations (even where they may have been involved in some wrongdoing that has now escalated?)

Returning to Dorothy Law Nolte’s words of wisdom, as pertinent now as when first written. What are the values we wish to instil in our children? Are we modelling those values?

 

One of my husband’s favourites quotes is pertinent here.

 

🌷Let’s not confine kindness to one country and one week!

 

🌷Discover more about National Mental Health Awareness Week here and check out their Kindness Matters video. How can you promote kindness today?

 

 

Take care and stay safe all!