Hope Over Hate: Addressing Prejudice with our Children

June 12th, 2020

 

 

As parents and teachers, we have a powerful influence over our children. Just as the seeds of respect are sown in early childhood so too are the seeds of intolerance. What is nurtured and encouraged to grow and flourish depends on the environment a child grows up in and the attitudes and experiences to which they are exposed. 

 

With media access all-pervasive, shielding our children from hate is almost impossible. They are exposed to hate speech with frightening regularity.

Hate speech is understood as any kind of communication in speech, writing or behaviour, that attacks or uses pejorative or discriminatory language with reference to a person or a group on the basis of who they are, in other words, based on their religion, ethnicity, nationality, race, colour, descent, gender or other identity factor.

(Taken from United Nations Strategy and Plan of Action on Hate Speech, 2019)

 

Everyday acts of intolerance manifest themselves in many ways: name-calling, slurs, sexual harassment, casual putdowns regarding race, ethnicity, gender, size, abilities, perceived sexual orientation or gender identification.

(See Responding to Hate and Bias at School, page. 4)

 

 

Hope Over Hate: What can we do?

Events in the news in recent weeks have forced us to address the topic of hate with our children. Follow this link for guidance on addressing the aftermath of threats, violence, terrorism, or other incidents of hate. Showing children our feelings of outrage towards hatred in any of its forms is extremely important. However, our work must begin much earlier. 

We must model compassion and respect and celebrate diversity from their earliest days. Young children are naturally curious and ask lots of questions about people around them. Sometimes, as adults, we shut those questions down because we struggle to answer them or feel embarrassed. What message does this send? If we refuse to answer questions or minimise difference, we engage in ‘othering’ and risk sending the message there is something ‘wrong’ with that person. 

 

Openness, honesty and respectfulness must characterise our conversations with children when they notice difference and ask about it. Showing children at a young age that they can talk to you about any topic, without being judged for doing so, is critical preparation for their teenage years when they may encounter many issues that are overwhelming for them and you will want to know they will turn to you. Empower them with the language to discuss issues of prejudice and injustice. This glossary of terms may be helpful.

 

Children have an innate sense of justice and fairness that we can draw upon when teaching them. Discuss with them the implications of particular language they use and point out and discuss prejudiced commentary, videos or memes they encounter online. Examine with your child the effect of being a bystander in situations where they witness bullying. Teach them what an advocate is (a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy). Praise them for being an advocate. Ensure they know how to exercise self-care and look after themselves in undertaking such a role.

 

Why Hope over Hate?

In 2009, Duncan Andrade’s Framework of Critical Hope considered what teachers must offer urban students to equip them for success. He outlined three forms of hope: material, Socratic, and audacious. Consider Tupc Shakur’s metaphor of young people who emerge in defiance of socially toxic environments as “roses that grow from concrete.” Andrade consider the forms of hope necessary to ensure this growth.

 

• Material Hope: Cracks in the concrete are needed in order for anything to grow. Andrade explains the resources and networks we connect our students to are those cracks. 

• Socratic Hope: To burst through those cracks in the concrete, “requires both teachers and students to painfully examine our lives and actions within an unjust society and to share the sensibility that pain may pave the path to justice” (p.7).

• Audacious Hope: “The solidarity to share in others’ suffering, to sacrifice self so that other roses may bloom, to collectively struggle to replace the concrete completely with a rose garden.” (p.6)

 

Critical Hope is not confined to urban school settings. As parents and teachers, how we rear our children fosters critical hope. Building connections, upholding the righteous indignation of the young as a strength, and encouraging them to use it in the service of others promotes hope over hate.

 

The images at the beginning of this post highlight our failures in addressing hate. Despite terrible suffering, it continues to grow. Ignoring hate has not made it go away. It is imperative we address it with our children and seek their support in combating it.

 

Ask them: 

• What kind of world do they want to live in? 

• How can they create this world?

 

Then support them in building it.

 

 

Take care and stay safe!